WWE has been on a roll calling their 2016 PPV’s “the biggest of all time”. WrestleMania 32 was called the biggest of all time, despite half of the roster being injured. With that said, Money in the Bank 2016 does look like the best of all time. Did Money in the Bank deliver, or is the WWE bankrupt of creativity?

Breezeango vs. The Golden Truth

One thing the WWE doesn’t always do well is subtlety, but the relationship between Fandango and Tyler Breeze can be commended. They are ambiguously gay to the point where I can’t tell if they are lovers or just best friends who appreciate each other for their looks. This match may reek of a feud that’s gone on too long, but considering how comedy angles in the WWE always end up in a horrible dance off, I applaud this feud for keeping it fresh. It has breathed new life in Fandango and shown us that The Golden Truth have to result to hijinks and pranks (Home Alone style) just to beat their competition. Considering The Golden Truth only won because their competitors had extreme sunburn, Breezedango is safe from being Buried! Let’s get real, no matter how masculine you are, a severe sunburn is going to hurt. However, Mauro Ranallo get’s Buried! for saying “Feel the Bern”.

Rating: 2 Sun Burnt Freaks out of 4

Random Burials

  • Finding Dory should have been renamed “Finding Enthusiasm”. Not only was I disappointed with the film, I was falling asleep halfway through it and the characters are downright annoying or unlikable. Dory was good in short bursts, but a whole movie on her own is grating. Furthermore, most of the plot is characters being lost, asking Dory what she’s talking about, or Dory just being annoying.
  • It’s the year 2016 and it’s been two years since the WWE Network launched, how does the app STILL not work on Sony consoles?
  • Why are Booker T and Lita relegated to the pre-show and how is Corey Graves not on the main commentary?
  • Who let Natalya on TV without makeup?
  • I will not talk about Jerry Lawler’s recent arrest because domestic violence isn’t funny…unless you’re Aldo Rose…

Photo provided by prowrestlingtees.com

Lucha Dragons vs. The Dudley Boyz in a “Who Gives a Shit” match.

Explain this match to me. What’s really good with these four guys? I’m getting physically ill watching these incredibly mismanaged guys fight. Kalisto, the Ryback killer, teaming with Sin Cara, who’s essentially a blind magician under that mask, versus Bubba Ray Dudley, one of the greatest heels of all time, and Devon Dudley. How have we come to this? What did these guys do to deserve being put on the pre-show for months on end? Titus O’Neil assaults a 70-year-old man in public and gets to fight for Kalisto’s old belt, but these 4 ladder gods can’t even get on the main show where fucking ladders are the main attraction! Do the Dudleys even dislike the Lucha Dragons? Do they think they kidnapped Spike? Did the Luchas accidentally “get the tables”!? Why hasn’t Sin Cara turned on Kalisto? How is Mauro saying this a “BIG” win for the Lucha Dragons when the Dudleys have not won a single feud in over a year!? I guess I can’t complain, at least the Dudleys aren’t fighting the Wyatts.

Rating: 0 Ladders out of 10


The match begins with a bullying Bubba Ray Dudley and Kalisto in action.

Tag Team Fatal Four Way for the Tag Team Championships

The New Day (c.) vs. The Vaudevillians vs. The Club vs. Enzo and Big Cass

Besides being faces and their wardrobe, nothing has changed with the New Day since Money in the Bank 2015. To say Kofi Kingston is the greatest tag team champion of all time is an understatement. With that said, every single guy in this match besides Kofi is an NXT alum. I have to give Dash and Dawson of The Club props for pulling double duty. Sadly, they just aren’t ready to be dual NXT and WWE Tag Team Champions. After what seemed like a botched three count from the referee (the audience actually botched the count), The New Day retained.

Rating: 3 Unicorn Horns out of 0 Dimes

Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler

Some will say this feud has gone on for far too long, and to their credit, this feud feels longer than Samoa Joe vs. Finn Balor. Unlike NXT, this feud is watchable and is actually fun. Both of these guys are essentially the exact same characters (cocky athletes with a sense of entitlement) but one’s a heel and one’s a face. One is an internet darling and one actively tries to murder them. Baron Corbin is one of the rare heels that’s actually booed because he’s an asshole and not just because the audience is bored by him. He’s an actual HEEL, not some independent wrestler who is a heel but who’s still cheered by smarks. Dolph Ziggler gets the shovel as he’s stupid enough to even challenge the big bad wolf to a rematch. Besides, Baron Corbin might have the best mid-match promo of anyone on the roster.

Rating: 3 out of 5 super kicks 


Women’s Tag Match

Natalya and Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte and Dana Brooke

Yikes…Natalya losing after a delayed count made her look like the weakest woman on the roster. The only thing exciting was her heel turn. This was a match you expect to see on RAW…back in 2012 with Eve Torres as champion. This match was straight up embarrassing.

Rating: Horrible out of Unwatchable

Apollo Crews vs. Sheamus

Now, while the internet and the crowd hated the Baron Corbin and Ziggler match for some reason, and the Divas match wasn’t much better, they pale in comparison to this match. I love Apollo Crews as much as I hate Sheamus, but god all mighty, this match was far from entertaining. Here’s a good idea, let’s take Apollo Crews, a guy that no one is into, and let’s make him win by roll up. Not some fancy acrobatic move or a feat of strength to definitively defeat Sheamus, but a roll up just to continue the feud. Like the women’s match, this was unfit for PPV, but unlike the women’s match, the storyline just wasn’t here. Are we supposed to sympathize with Apollo Crews as being a little guy with a big heart? Didn’t we already have that with Kalisto? Why did the Big Show show up to give Apollo Crews a pep talk? Is this punishment for Apollo botching hard during a match with Chris Jericho? All these questions will be answered, as RAW rolls on.



John Cena vs. AJ Styles in a “Fuck The Fans” Match

JBL: “What a BS way to finish this thing, we damn sure deserve better.” When a heel cheats to win and JBL is still pissed off about it, you know the ending to a match was bullshit. Cena vs. Styles had shades of Cena vs. Owens, but on steroids. I guess it’s too crazy to think that AJ Styles could beat Cena clean. This ending did nothing except give AJ Styles some heat. He’s no longer phenomenal, he’s just a puss. One of the best matches of the year, ruined by the lackluster AJ Styles calling in his goons.

Rating: 2 Goons out of 5

Money in the Bank Ladder Match

No words, only perfect story telling. Dean was right. One day, he’s going to fix up his leg and pick himself up.

US Championship Match- Rusev (c.) vs. Titus O’Neil

Another match worthy of RAW, saved by the fact that the entire face-off was the set up for a gag. That gag being Rusev saying, “Happy Fathers Day” to Titus’s kids after he crushed their dad.

WWE World Heavy Weight Championship Match- Roman Reigns (c.) vs. Seth Rollins       WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match- Seth Rollins (c.) vs. Dean Ambrose

No words, only perfect story telling. Dean was right. One day, he’s going to fix up his leg and pick himself up.

Ratings: God-tier