Wrestling is my purgatory. Quark gets a full-time job, gets home at 5 o’clock, yet still, has to spend a majority of the rest of his day devoted to wrestling. I can’t escape it, but I sure as hell can bury it.
SmackDown Vs. RAW
I respect the brand split, but some of the shit they’re doing bothers me. RAW is obviously the flagship show, so obviously, they have to make a UNIVERSAL title on SmackDown. Clearly, the world (title) isn’t enough for Stephanie McMahon. Having two big titles is great, but making the legendary WWE World Championship, seemingly becoming second banana to the Universal title, seems off to me. Furthermore, it’s completely ridiculous to have a SmackDown tag team title and SmackDown women’s title. The tag titles and the women’s title should have been floating titles between the two shows, period. Having only six women fight for a title is foolish. Buried!
Baron Corbin and Smackdown Booking
I might be the biggest Baron Corbin mark on Earth. One of the few wrestlers that I will never bury. He ended up losing a triple threat match to compete for the IC title, but he ended the segment looking like a god, laying out The Miz and Kalisto. Baron looked strong, as a matter of fact…everyone looks good on Smackdown. The small roster truly is a blessing in disguise, as I feel no one gets cast aside. When you’re on RAW, you have to compete for screen time with the fucking Shining Stars, but on Smackdown, everyone is worthy of the spotlight. Apollo Crews gets more time to develop on SmackDown than he did RAW.
I just can’t get behind this loser. Finn Balor is the definition of all walk and no talk. Finn Balor‘s mouth is like soccer. You always think something interesting is going to come from it, but it never does. Finn always looks awkward, like a deer in the headlights if the deer was uninterested in the car. Buried!
Pop Culture Jesus
“Baron Corbin looks to make his opponent cry more than Kanye in his Wolves video” An actual quote by Mauro Ranallo. I still don’t see the hype for this guy. He sounds like the voice you use when you try and imitate a 1950’s vaudeville radio host. He’s somehow overacting more than the actual wrestlers. Furthermore, what’s with the random and irrelevant pop culture references? I swear he spouts off more pop culture references than a mid-2000’s Dreamwork’s movie. That last sentence would also be something Mauro Reynaldo would say. He’s like a walking Buzzfeed article. “You won’t believe the 10 things Kalisto eats for breakfast. It’s enough to make the Rio Olympic Games blush!”