CM Punk, while you lie there as comfy as possible in your home, I want you to listen to me.
I want you to digest this because before I bury you, I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest.
I don’t hate you, CM Punk. I don’t even dislike you. I do like you. I like you more than anyone else in the back. You have this idea that you’re the best. Because you are. You are the best. You’re the best in the world. There was one thing you never did and that was kiss Vince McMahon’s ass.
You were the best wrestler in the world.
You’ve been the best since day one when when you walked into this company, but then Daniel Bryan took your thunder. You were vilified and hated since that day because you were jealous. But Paul Heyman saw something in you that management never wanted to admit, that you’re a better heel. That’s right, you’re a Paul Heyman Guy. You know who else is a Paul Heyman Guy? Brock Lesnar. But the biggest difference between you and Brock is that he fulfills contractual obligations.
I’ve grabbed so many of your shirts off Hot Topic racks because I thought your imaginary ideology was one that meant something, but it’s finally dawned on me that it’s just that – it’s completely imaginary. The only thing that’s real is the fact that day in and day out your fans loved you – to us, no one could touch you. And yet no matter how many times we supported you, it wasn’t enough. You got your collectors cups. You were on the cover of many programs. You were promoted with feuds against The Rock, Brock Lesnar, and The Undertaker. You even defended your title at WrestleMania. You got everything you wanted and it should have been enough.
Despite what you say this has been nothing but sour grapes. Because the fact that Daniel Bryan is the biggest star right now and not you makes you sick!
Oh hey, let me get something straight. There are people cheering for you, but that’s not enough, you want all the attention for yourself. Because those same fans are the ones sipping on those collector cups right now with Bryan on them. They’re the ones that buy those programs that Bryan is on. But still, at five in the morning they are tweeting about seeing their hometown hero come back to Chicago. At this point, I doubt they care if you leave the WWE, or go back to Ring of Honor or New Japan.
The reason I’m burying you is because of you Punk. Because despite what you’ve done, your ego is not bigger than the WWE. Fuck the spokes on the wheel, you are not bigger than the wheel. The WWE fans who wanted YOU are the wheel Punk. You’ve set up a Cult of Personality which by every name suits you, but your fans can only take so much for so long. And with you gone, Vince McMahon is going to make money despite himself. Because guess what, he’s now a billionaire, and will continue to be one without you. But you can sit as a millionaire Punk and think you’re right in this situation. Because you surround yourself with glad-handed, nonsensical, douchebag fans and yes men, people like AJ Lee who are going to tell you everything you want to hear, and I’d like to think that maybe this company will be better after we’re done trying to get you back. But the fact is, you’re going to get replaced Punk.
Let me tell you my personal feelings about CM Punk…
The Chicago RAW show was one of the most disgusting, genius, and perhaps controversial episodes of RAW I’ve ever seen. As a CM Punk mark, I was pissed. Punk’s self exile is a pile of bogus bullshit and to simply leave the company before his obligations are done is both unprofessional and disgusting. And at the end of the day, I still think they are going to mix reality with fiction and turn this into a work. Paul Heyman was right, we destroyed CM Punk. Punk was never going to be the new John Cena. He would never be the “face of the company” despite what we all wanted. He wanted to be the heel. And quite frankly, there is no way in hell CM Punk will return to the WWE as a face. Ever. The cock tease in Chicago was the last straw. The WWE faced the problem head-first but in reality, made everyone pissed that he didn’t even show up. In no way do I believe that CM Punk hates his fans. But if he comes back trying to be a face, whipping this all away, I can’t support him any longer. You can’t take a shit on my chest and try to tell me there is a nut of protein lodged somewhere in there. But as a heel, he can shine. Come back, shit on the fans for being his fucking slaves, beat the fuck out of Bryan, say he’s sick of his nice guy persona, and set up a match for SummerSlam. CM Punk went from being my favorite wrestler to the one I now hate to love. I almost feel embarrassed for calling this dude “The Best in the World” when the fucker’s looked sloppy recently and couldn’t care less about the business he’s been a part of for so long. With this I finally, after two years of writing, give CM Fuck a big, fat…