To think, I let Tough Enough slide by for three weeks without talking about it. What a fucking shame. Actually, it’s not that surprising considering I just started watching it…and I’m hooked!
Yeah, Quark should be the first person Buried! for actually buying into this shit. But tough shit, Tough Enough is actually good considering the people on this show are actually interesting for once. This might be a tough pill to swallow, but the last Tough Enough was a major flop. It was such a disaster, you’d think Seth Rollins as WWE Champion was hosting it!
But seriously, I’ve Buried! the previous “winner”, Andrew Levine once before, and if I do it again, he might eat my face. Silent Rage was a corporate code name for boring as fuck. But like John Cena in Chicago, Tough Enough managed to win over the haters. Tough Enough 2015 sent out a casting call and thousands of young hopefuls (including the Buried! Boys) sent in their videos to try their hand at being the next Performance Center wash-up. But shockingly, there is enough of a cast to actually warrant watching…and by that I mean like 5 of them, but it’s better than nothing!
Tanner and Josh
These two guys look like Blake and Murphy were eaten by Matt Hardy and Seth Rollins, but just like Blake and Murphy, they are commonly mistaken for each other. Is it because they are boring as fuck muscle heads? Maybe. Is it because one of them almost got taken out by a 19-year-old? Definitely. Do I see them going into the WWE even if they end up losing? Absolutely. But will I want to throw my television out the window if I ever see them on RAW in a match? Undoubtedly. These guys just ooze the type of fake machismo that the WWE reeked of in the early 2000’s. This is opposed to Black Machismo or even the Machismo Mandow that the WWE prefers now. Get these guys out of here, I’ve had enough.
This man-beast is the Hodor of the Wyatt family. ZZ Wyatt, the incestuous born half brother/cousin of IRS with the blood of Dusty Rhodes and an alligator. This guy is going places…most likely to Wendy’s and then Jack in the Box, but definitely places. He sure isn’t going to win, but the ride before his elimination will be worthy to stay buckled in.
Alex– Also known as That fucking guy who said “Knowledge Means Nothing”.
Now I know reality TV is chopped up to make people look really stupid, but quite frankly, you should know how to play the game if you want to win. For the uninformed, this man Alex said:
“You don’t need to know history, you don’t need to know wrestlers, you don’t need to know matches, I don’t need to know anything about this sport…History is history, it’s what happened, I’m here to start a new age, I’m a blank slate…knowledge means nothing.”
Alex later defended himself (once he got eliminated), but I don’t care if it was chopped and screwed and made into a dub-step remix, no matter which way you phrase it, Alex sounded like a disrespectful dumb ass. By his logic, I could write this article without even watching Tough Enough. I could review a game without ever even playing it or knowing the background to it. What a goon.
Sara Lee and Diana
Yeah, I voted to keep Sara Lee on the show. Of the other two people that were on the chopping block, (Daria and ZZ) Sara was the clear choice of people to save. Daria, to me, blended in with the other women, and ZZ is protected by the IWC anyway. Furthermore, I feel as if the rest of the women are lost causes since Dianna left, so it didn’t really matter who I voted for. Dianna got the shit chewed out of her by the judges because she left the competition. To be honest, the judges (and the show) made it look like she left for silly reasons. Honestly, it’s a little unfair considering she had a legally conflicting reason to leave the show. I am truly shocked that Tough Enough would intentionally lie to trick the audience. What is this, a reality show?
The clear winner of Tough Enough. The only one who actually gives a shit about the WWE as he was the only competitor to wake up for the Beast in the East special. He’s the only guy who had a wrestling background before coming to Tough Enough. This guy makes me want to watch Tough Enough as he represents a true wrestling fan…so he represents us. I respect this man. #TeamPatrick.
That’s all for Buried! this week. Be on the lookout for more Buried!, Quark’s Corner, and A Feastful of Fists in the future listen to The Buried! Show: Episode 14, and listen to MTR 300, guest starring the Buried! Boys.
The Buried! Show: Episode 15 will be coming after Battleground, so be on the lookout!