After spending two articles picking apart IWC, I thought I was finished. I thought I had said all that could be said. Hell, I even thought I might be proved wrong. Maybe IWC was right. Maybe WrestleMania Play Button would be as bad as they hoped. Perhaps the lackluster build was truly amounting to the latest stage of the them all. And then it happened. A WrestleMania that I would dare call one of the best of all time. This is less of a Buried! and more of a “Quark looks at IWC and shakes his head in disgust”.
The True Winner of WrestleMania
Pizza was drooped out of my face hole as I mouthed the word “Buried!” as Sting shook hands with HHH after losing his first ever match in WWE. Let me say one thing: Sting losing was an awesome move and one that I respect. But shaking hands with the man you’ve been haunting since November? That’s just pathetic. Sting’s entire mission since Survivor Series has been (seemingly) to get the corrupt Authority out of power. Sure, he succeeded during the duration of a blink, but the end result, he failed! The Authority is the true winner of WrestleMania as every one of their members is in more power because of the event!
HHH won his match, Big Show won the Battle Royal, Seth Rollins is now Champion and Brock Lesnar is under contract making him the McMahon’s “bitch”. Sting did nothing to stop The Authority and in the end, just confirmed HHH’s power trip. Five months of build up for you to lose and shake hands with the man who’s empire you were hell bent on destroying? Five months just to lead up to you saying “Yeah I don’t know where to go next, oh well”. Fuck outta here.
The End Justifies the Means
If you saw it coming, you were lying. Many wanted Lesnar to retain while the same group dreaded a Roman Reigns victory. Meanwhile, everyone would be happy with a Seth Rollins cash-in on either man. But who would Seth ultimately cash it in on? Roman or Lesnar? The answer: both. The WWE did the impossible by having all three men look like gods. Seth Rollins cashing in during the match was genius. It made Lesnar look like a legitimate beast by toying with Reigns the whole time, and losing the belt without getting pinned. It continues to have Seth be the smartest man in the room and the ultimate tactician. All while putting Roman Reigns over even more so than if he had the belt.
Roman Reigns now is a tragic figure who has lost everything that he fought for. He won the Royal Rumble, defeated Daniel Bryan clean and laughed in the face of Brock Lesnar all while busting him open. But by the end of the day, The Authority would not let him have his moment in the sun. Speaking of the sun, the sun was the real MVP during ‘Mania. Wrestling looks so awesome outside in the daylight. Anyway, Reigns has lost everything, he is now a desperate man willing to fight anyone, just for a chance to get back to what he believes is his birthright – the WWE Championship. But on a serious note, those “I Can, I Will” T-shirts have somehow become even dumber since Reigns’ loss.
Yes Man Wins lol
Fucking Yes Man, never liked him anyway. A shocker, a truly intergalactic, out of this world, crazier than Stardust win, was the victory of Yes Man (also known as Daniel Bryan). I had enough of YessleMania last year, I didn’t need a repeat. What frustrates me even more is when Yes Man won the title, he defended it on RAW against Dolph Ziggler. The reason I loved the IC title storyline leading to ‘Mania was because everyone wanted it. But what, Yes Man wins the belt and all of a sudden no one feels like they should go after it anymore? Dean fought Cena for no reason. I guess he no longer wants to be on the IC Champion wall at the WWE headquarters? Luke Harper wasn’t even on the show, Stardust fought somebody, with no mention of wanting the belt, R-Truth is presumably dead, and Wade is just chilling waiting to have a rematch. I bet Daniel Bryan denied anyone else get to fight him because he thinks’s he’s better than the rest of them. Explains why Sheamus brogue kicked your skull in you elitist dickhead. Stay humble and remember where you came from Yes Man. That’s why you’re…
What Is The NEXT Great Rivalry?
- Macho Man Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan
- Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels
- Stone Cold Steve Austin and Dwayne Johnson
- John Cena and CM Punk
- Quark and Blade
These are five of the greatest rivalries in wrestling history, but what will the sixth greatest rivalry be?Ladies and gentlemen, tune into the Buried! Show this weekend for the continuation of BuriedMania and our 3 year Buriedversary to find out what two men I think are the next Bret and Shawn. One has overcome diversity thanks to his heart of gold while the other has had everything handed to him due to heritage. Stay tuned folks…