Buried! is dead, long live Buried!. While I have no intention of bringing back the series full time, Buried! always finds a way to return for the major wrestling shows. This year is no different, as I take the shovel to my first ever Tokyo Dome show. Given the near-legendary status of last year's Wrestle Kingdom, can Wrestle Kingdom 12 live up to the hype?
It goes without saying that this is clearly the worst aspect of NJPW. If you're a tag team outside of the Junior Heavyweight division, consider cutting weight for anyone to care about you. Of all the tag matches, the only match I was tuned into was The Young Bucks vs. Sho and Yoh. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of Evil, but Killer Elite Squad? These two WWE rejects are the ones who went into this PPV with the title? The tag division in NJPW is like that of the WWE scene from the late 1990's and early 2000's, with the titles being hot potatoed between teams, but without the personality to back it up. Sorry guys, but Toru Yano deserves better.
Jay “Vanilla Midget” White
This is the future Kevin Nash predicted when he called CM Punk a skinny fat ass fry cook working at Waffle House. How did Switchblade, a vanilla midget dressed in cosplay, end up in a title match against the Ace? Was this supposed to be the coming out party for this kid? Couldn't he challenge anyone else? Couldn't he have waited a few months to debut? What's his gimmick? It appears he is obsessed with Tanahashi calling himself the Ace…and that's it. Dude has baby smooth skin yet has a villainous name like Switchblade? Homie doesn't even carry a knife! My man Jay White looks like he's auditioning for the next Sword Art Online live action drama. Dude's trying to land on Gotham as The Penguin's stunt double! Unless this is a case of Gedo's long-term booking, this dude is Buried! Feed this guy to Toru Yano and call it a day. You want to be a villain – check out Marty Scurll and get back to me.
Red Shoes Going Overboard
Chris Jericho was right to beat the hell out of Red Shoes and his spawn. This man Red Shoes, if that is his real name, spends 90% of every match trying to get over. Whether it's his wacky hand gestures, his over-animated facial expressions, or his fucking shoes, he's clearly trying to outshine the talent in the ring. Red Shoes is worse than the Full Sail crowd or Brock Lesnar Guy. Stay in your lane, get some black Keds, and do your job.
Marks Getting Worked
Naito vs. Okada inspired this article. The match was great, nothing amazing, nothing terrible, just great. People calling it a five-star classic are just plain incorrect, as it had a very meddling middle that killed the momentum. Personally, the match was a solid 4-star match, with the crowd being 7 stars. Easily the most intense crowd I've ever heard. But even the people calling it a 5-star clinic are still getting worked into oblivion by claiming the wrong man won. You know, Okada, the once in a generation talent, the figurehead of the company, probably the greatest pro-wrestler on Earth, BURIED Naito in the main event. This is what the marks are saying. The vocal minority of marks essentially said “LOL OKADA wins. This was clearly Naito's time. If not now, then when? Truly, who can beat Okada now as he has Hulk Hogan at his peaks level booking? What the fuck are those pants he's wearing?!” Ok, the pants part is a legitimate tragedy.
Personally, I wanted Rainmaker to win, as he's my favorite wrestler on the earth currently performing, but that's not the point. Okada is THE ACE, he's the guy. Everyone acts like this was Naito's story, to win the title, but it wasn't. The whole story was to finally main event Wrestle Kingdom. Naito's story was what CM Punk always wanted, a chance to main event the grandest stage of them all, not to win. Sure Okada is untouchable but isn't that the point of a strong champion? People constantly complain about WWE's 50/50 booking and champs who rarely defend, yet complain about the polar opposite in Okada. At this point, the only person who could stand a chance against Rainmaker, given his booking is obviously…