This week was a week chock full of holiday cheer and love. Christmas has passed us by and the act of giving was shared with loved ones throughout the world. Also, wrestling gave us fans a present which we are familiar with receiving. This present I speak of (which the wrestling world gives us every year) is that of crappy wrestling programming. Yes fans, the gift which sports entertainment shares through your televisions and entertainment devices has nice bright wrappings, but when you open the gift of love, there is a hot, steaming pile of turd which may have been left over from the repercussions of a Christmas goose which Andre the Giant ate in 1984. And this year, they did not forget the Christmas log of poo dressed up as dessert. Current storylines and angles are thrown out the window for matches like Santa’s Little Helpers, Candy Cane on a Pole, Pool of Eggnog, and Stuff-a-Stocking. Also, shows are pre-recorded three weeks in advance and seem to go into “Silent Night, Sleepy Matches” mode because wrestlers have checked out mentally and physically. Also, don’t get me started on how Creative begins to prepare for the New Year by looking at the bottom of the wastebasket for their throw away bookings to round out the year. With that being said, I bring you my
Face/Heel of the Week.
Face of the Week – Santa Claus (WWE)
Santa Claus was the obvious choice for this week’s Face. The Ole’ Jolly One is loved by more children than John Cena. Big Red (not to be confused with Kane of course), has had a hoard of followers as big as Hulkamania. Santa has brought us as much joy as a Bra and Panties match. Who else other than Santa and Vince McMahon can be that old and yet put a smile on our face once a year with either Christmas or WrestleMania? Plus, Santa is helpful as well as kind. For example, after being accidentally hit with a car driven by Alberto Del Rio this week, Kris Kringle was able to get himself together and help the muscle-bound elf himself, John Cena, by applying the Mandible Claw (wink wink) on Del Rio to set up Cena for the Double A. And just like a Sin Cara injury, you’re guaranteed to see Santa at least once a year.
Heel of the Week – Christopher Daniels (TNA)
Now you want to talk about a guy who deserves a lump of coal in his stocking? Christopher Daniels is the prime example of what douche looks and possibly smells like. When you look up the definition of “tool”, the definition reads “See Daniels” showing a picture of him grinning while holding an Apple Martini. Daniels is a great wrestler, yeah I said it, he is a great wrestler, but he is also one of the slimiest heels on TV. Besides Joey Ryan, every time Daniels pops up on my screen, I have the dire need to take a long and deep shower. This past Thursday on Impact, Daniels and his flunky, Kazarian, fooled the crowd by thinking there was going to be a final face-to-face between Daniels and his former long time best friend AJ Styles. Unfortunately, Styles was actually not in the building, but instead we got Kazarian dressed in full AJ Styles attire marching to the ring and confessing his fear of Daniels. Let this be known from now on, I refuse to look at an Apple Martini and not think of Christopher Daniels’ “Cheshire Cat” style grin ever again.
Happy New Year from the Ear to the Mat Family, FHoW, and MTR!
Mr. Ear to the Mat
- Santy's Face/Heel of The Week (12/16 – 12/22) (mytakeradio.com)
- The 2012 Buried Awards (mytakeradio.com)