Greeting and welcome ladies and virgins to the freedom zone. This is Buried: SmackDown featuring the one and only Quark (no Blade, he is garbage.) Somebody call Johnny Ace’s momma so I destroy her. The less family Ace has the closer he can be to me! Sure I saw the  BroTus vs. Heath Slater fight (all 37 seconds of it) but something popped in my head. Blade. Blade and his fucking pussy ass. He fucking has the audacity to say that I was the one that changed and ruined Buried! Well Blade sorry to tell you but I got there fir…. 7704y- gyoureditorsucksrq3532840-saveme4092-4069-wlocked3958-24376-042in-048265-2486the843ldjgosjabasement2ytwpogjdso 43u =4


Welcome ladies & gentlemen to Blade Presents SmackDown Buried! I know what you’re thinking. “Ahhhhhh Shucky Ducky,  Quack Quack!” John Blade is taking over SmackDown Buried! Unfortunately that is not the case. I’m simply doing my partner Quark a solid and burying SmackDown this week. Hopefully seeing this will bring him back to his senses and writing like the guy we all know and sometimes love.

I’ve been personally asked to devote an entire article to burying one man. You know him, you hate him, he gets jobbed every week! The one and only Heath Slater!

I've buried Slater in the past so I had no problem giving him an entire page. I can’t think of anyone more deserving of this honor. I’ve dealt with this clown in the past, I know exactly how awful he can be in the ring. Lets start off with his gimmick. The whole “One Man Rock Band,” thing was never really explained. I doubt he’s talented enough to play any instruments, and I really doubt he’s ever been in any kind of rock band. I think what happened was creative couldn’t think of anything to do with this no talent hillbilly. But he’s from the south so lets just call him the one man rock band! No body will care enough to dig further into it. Now this what we’re stuck with… Thanks WWE. I was also aware that Heath Slater never really accomplished anything on his own since going solo. But then I researched him a little more and realized, he’s never done anything ever! Allow me to elaborate. Lets start with NXT. Which he lost, no surprise. Then he comes back with the Nexus. And does nothing productive, Wade Barrett and Justin Gabriel pretty much take care of all the wins. Then CM Punk takes over the New Nexus, here’s Slater’s chance to reinvent himself. He couldn’t even do a simple initiation! All he had to do was beat a man with a kendo stick! You can’t even do that right!

So after failing in both The Nexus and the New Nexus, Slater decides to jump on Gabriel’s coat tails and join Corre. For once, Heath Slater achieved something,he became a tag tam champion. Crazy right? Don't get too excited, he only won because Wade Barrett made David Otunga allow Slater to pin him. Once again proving, that The One Man Cock Band can’t do anything on his own. Yes, I reused this joke, get over it. Then he made another stupid move, he turned on Justin Gabriel. You know, the only guy that gave him any kind of credibility.

Back to the solo career. Long story short, Heath Slater went on a 22-match losing streak. 22 matches…I’m not the one who holds the record for longest losing streak, but I’m sure Heath is a strong contender. I could go on for hours about how terrible Slater is. Call him Wendy all day, and basically just shit on him forever. Heath Slater hasn’t ever accomplished anything while in the WWE and I highly doubt he ever will. He should be honored I took time out of my day to write this much about him. Fuck you very Slater. You’re the new face of BURIED!

Once again I want to send a message to my partner in crime Quark. If you’re reading this, we want you back. No, I NEED you back. I can’t carry this team forever. I just want my friend back.

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  1. Stansky and Rosernberg should come back every week and try to be Ryback. Shit would be funny

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