Last week I wrote an article about the fun time I had at a screening of the director’s cut of The Lord of The Rings: The Fellowship of The Ring. I went with my friend Danny, who had never seen any of the LOTR movies before. Well this week we went to see the director’s cut of LOTR: The Two Towers.

Getting to see The Two Towers on the big screen again, cleaned up, with additional scenes, and kick-ass audio with a buddy is my idea of a good time, and the movie did not disappoint. Gandalf’s battle with the Balrog never looked better, and the battle of Helm’s Deep is one of the greatest battle scenes ever filmed! This was Danny’s first time seeing the movie and he thought it was great. He is psyched for Return of The King (and so am I).

If you haven’t already realized it, I am a big fan of the LOTR movies and I was really looking forward to seeing the trilogy up on the big screen again. FOTR was a really great experience. The fans were respectful. No cellphones rang, no one talked, and people clapped at appropriate times during the movie. I am not a fan of clapping in the movies (as the actors are not there to hear your applause), but I can see how a story as powerful as LOTR could draw you in so much that you clap when the good guys win. The only negative the entire night was as the movie went on, the temperature in the theater continued to drop until I could barely feel my toes. Even though I was wearing flip flops, I toughed it out and had a really enjoyable time. Both Danny and I agreed to dress a bit warmer for The Two Towers.

Content with thick socks, sneakers, shorts and a t-shirt, I rolled into the theater. Danny, on the other hand, was dressed just the same except he wore a hoody. The Two Towers begins and everything is going well. The audience claps for Peter Jackson and the beginning of the movie. Fine. About half the way through the movie, people clap again. Fine. Then a few seconds later at a point of no particular importance some guy at the front of the theater starts clapping and people join in as that is the natural reaction to someone who is clapping. Everyone laughs for a few seconds and then they all settle down and get back into the movie. A few minutes later, the same guy claps again, and people continue to clap with him. This spread to other people who started random clappings (is clappings a word?) and this basically went on for the rest of the film and it was beyond annoying. I yelled “STOP WITH THE FUCKING CLAPPING” on multiple occasions, as did others but it continued. You would think that, at what amounts to a fan screening, the fans would have acted like I don’t know, FUCKING FANS! and shut this shit down, but no. All this was going on while the temperature in the theater started rising! Not only was I pissed off, but my feet were sweltering in my thick socks and I could feel the temperature of my arms going up. It must have been 80 degrees in that theater!

On a separate note, I know that at times the relationship between Frodo and Sam comes across as if they are gay, but is it really necessary to giggle every time they talk to one another? It’s 2011 and you are at a fan screening! Suspend disbelief and your prejudices for a few hours and enjoy the movie! If you want to act like you are 8, stay home and wait for the movie to come out on blu-ray in a few months you pieces of shit!

So while the movie was beyond great, the people who went to see it were, for the most part, pieces of human garbage! So this coming Tuesday is ROTK. Now if all the shitheads came out for The Two Towers, I can only image who will come out for the end of the trilogy. 5 hours of clapping will force me to blow up the building. I hope for the best, but I expect the worst.

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