10. Hellboy is a woman.

9. Sakura from Naruto is really fat in real life.

8. Big fat guys make terrible Venom cosplayers, especially when they just put on a Todd McFarlane mask and have no actual costume.

7. Pass on the concession stand food, especially when the hot dogs smell worse than your average fanboy.

6. Peter Mayhew gets no love.

5. Fat black women should not be allowed in the Green Lantern Core.

4. Twenty-Five years later, Jem is still truly outrageous; truly, truly, truly outrageous.

3. The movie version of Symbiote Spidey is a camera whore; he also likes to rub his ballsack on people.

2. Never go to a con alone; there are way to many jokes that must be shared with friends. Also, you will get raped in all senses of the term.

1. Cobra Commander is still a man; in fact, he is THE man.