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Slick’s Nit-Picks: Archer, Episode 308 – “Lo Scandalo”

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Malory Archer is many things; sadly, mother is probably the least of them. There are many words that can be used to describe her. She is a master spy, so liar, killer and thief come to mind. She is extremely manipulative and one need only look at Sterling to tell that. “Worldly” is a term that comes to mind, especially when you consider that she does not know for certain who fathered her child, but every female in ISIS can share this description. Despite all this, Malory continues to amaze, albeit it not in a good way. By the end of this episode, her vindictive nature earns her a new title, one I am sure that Sterling and Lana will never let her forget.

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BEST ACTRESS Malory sits in her apartment in the dark, sipping bourbon as Archer and Lana enter. She apparently called them in a panic because her guest was the Italian prime minister, Savio Mascalzone, and he is very dead. Malory was very upset as she explains what happened because they do not believe her story. Still, loyalty prevails as they decide to help keep her out of prison. Archer calls Kreiger who is way too gung ho about being a cleaner and then the rest of the ISIS gang show up at the apartment just before a police detective. Of course, madness ensues, Lana becomes a French maid and viewers are treated to “an elegant dinner party for the most elegant people in New York.”

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REVENGE OF TRUCKASAURUS For two episodes straight, Lana’s monster hands get airtime. Last week she was poppin’ bottle caps with her thumbs and now she is smacking Archer and doing the Vulcan death grip on him. Archer said that getting smacked by her is like getting hit with a cricket bat. I wanna see them parody the infamous youtube video and have Lana smack someone so hard that they are knocked out cold.

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THE PERFECT CRIME? We learn at the end of the episode that Malory did in fact kill Savio and that everything that happened that night was part of her plan to cover it up. Her reasoning behind the murder was mildly noble as she got revenge for the man who was most probably Archer’s real father. On the other hand, it is really creepy that she would involve her subordinates in covering up the mess, especially when one of them is her son. Add “criminal mastermind” to the list of terms that describe Malory and then let’s make sure that we never ever cross her.

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ELEGANT DINNER PARTY You have to love the idiotic ISIS crew. No one else could come up with a plan like that off the top of their heads and that is part of what makes Malory so scary. She knew that whether or not Sterling believed her that he would help her. She knew that this would involve more people (aka ISIS staff) coming to her house and she knew those idiots would cause commotion enough to throw off the police. Cheryl, being of blue blood, sold her part perfectly, even though Pam felt she went over the top. Cyril was the only one not on board and Ray put it perfectly when he said (in a British accent) “No one cares, Figgis, you’re only invited to round out the numbers.”

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This was easily the most disturbing episode of Archer to date. Malory could have easily taken care of things on her own but then the murder could have been traced back to her. Instead she creates the perfect alibi and used Archer to do it. It’s not like we didn’t know she was a bitch but that is really messed up. Archer and Lana are probably going to be a little more careful around her going forward. Her reaction to being called a “sullen wench” has me feeling like we are going to see them in bed again, although probably not until season four. Cheryl was way to into playing dress up, but that probably was her making fun of her dead mother because she is just nuts like that. I don’t even know what to say about Kreiger’s behavior. Taking pictures with corpses and his enthusiasm about cutting the body up was way above even his normal level of creepy. Being a garbage man in NYC is really going to suck tomorrow morning.

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