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Slick’s Nit-Picks: Archer, Episode 309 – “Bloody Ferlin”


It is not always easy to go back home. I am sure everyone knows someone that is either ashamed of their family or feels that there are aspects of their own life that their family can never know. They will lie to their family about things like where they work, where they live, how much money they have, etc., all in order to maintain an image they feel is more favorable to their family than who or what they really are. Tonight, we learn that Ray is one such person. I am pretty sure that most secret agents don’t tell their family what they do for obvious reasons so that one is a given. We learn in this episode that his hometown is a little place called Ferlin, in West Virginia. So let’s go on and take a wild guess what else he is hiding from his family. Time’s up, go take a swig of moonshine and have sex with your sister.


MEET THE GILLETTES Here’s a happy news flash: Ray is not paralyzed! Apparently he never was and just ran with it because everyone assumed he was. Archer and Lana find this out as they find Ray in the armory getting ready for war. He explains to them that his brother is a marijuana farmer and the crooked sheriff E.Z. Ponder wants to take his crops and kill him if he does not abandon it. Archer offers to help and claims that family is important but Lana knows he really wants moonshine and trailer park poon tang. So Archer and Ray pick up Cheryl to act as his wife and solidify his non-gay cover, and then head on down to Ferlin. They are greeted by the sheriff and not-so greeted by Randy, Ray’s brother. After the confusion settles, Ray offers to help his brother despite his less than legal career choice. Guns ablaze and you have to see the results for yourself when the smoke clears.


NO KISSIN’! Upon arrival at Randy’s farm, Archer is introduced to his very attractive wife, Janelle. The couple have decided to have an open marriage, so Randy is OK with Archer banging Janelle as long as he keeps Ray occupied long enough for Randy to do the same with Ray’s “wife,” Cheryl. Randy and Janelle even check with each other to make sure the coast is clear, where she gives him the single rule “no kissin’.” Here is the really weird part: Ray is totally against this. It seems that the gay, former preacher is totally against adultery and since Randy thinks that Cheryl is his wife, it is wrong. Wonders never cease on this show.


THE COVER-UP While Ray & Sterling are down in the holler, Lana has to cover up for them. When Ray got the weapons, he tripped an alarm that made it look like there was a break in and Malory is going crazy over what information may have been compromised. If you thought things were screwy in Ferlin, look at what Lana has to go through. She has to convince Cyril to keep his trap shut and unfortunately Pam overhears so now they have to buy her silence as well. To kill two birds with one stone, Lana tells Kreiger that Pam will fight in his ultimate bum shock fights if he helps out. If you recall, Pam paid her way through college as a fight club champion. She has a few loves in life: eating bearclaws, spreading gossip and beating ass. Kreiger, on the other hand, is just a weirdo. As you can imagine, with Pam involved, the cover-up did not go so well.


Not a lot happened in this episode but it was still very funny. I am hoping that Ray will be officially returned to active duty now that he is “no longer” paralyzed, and I am sure Cyril does as well. Although, I could also see the benefit of an office comptroller that doubles as a field agent. The problem is Malory; she is bound to be really pissed over the whole matter, especially now that she knows that Ray was the intruder and that Kreiger destroyed the mainframe for nothing. Oh, and let’s not forget the whole Ray was never paralyzed matter. I would lay odds that the next episode is going to have a pretty interesting prelude.

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