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Slick’s Nit-Picks: Archer, Episode 310 – “Crossing Over”


*Alcoholism is a powerful and dangerous addiction. All kinds of things happen while under the influence. Some become violent, while others suffer an emotional instability that leaves them crying in a corner in the fetal position. Some drink themselves to death and succumb to alcohol poisoning. Many don’t even get as far as the above examples because they make the fatal mistake of getting behind the wheel while drunk, claiming not only their own lives but the lives of others. All of these things pale in comparison to the single worst problem ever caused by drinking too much. This is the dreaded disease known as beer goggles. It does not really alter your vision the way TV shows have made it seem, but it lowers one’s inhibitions to the point where they will sleep with anything. The morning after is generally one of shock and horror as you realize that no amount of washing can erase the stain on your soul. The only thing that could be worse is the development of yet another addiction.


*before I continue, I have to stress that there is nothing funny about alcoholism and the above was just a lead-in to how much of a drunk Sterling Archer is and the stupid things that he does, regardless of his level of inebriation. No disrespect is meant to anyone battling alcoholism or families who have lost because of it.


COME AT ME, BRO! Archer must be getting old or something; even Woodhouse comments that he has rarely ever seen Sterling hung-over. Instead of just asking Woodhouse, Sterling slowly pieces together what transpired the night before and freaks when he realizes he had the best sex of his life but has no idea how to find the stripper he was with. He thanks Woodhouse with a slap to the face when he lets him know she is in the bathroom. To his absolute horror, the girl he had the best sex of his life with is not the stripper, but in fact Pam, who is still eating chicken and waffles whilst taking a dump. He tries to threaten her on the way to work, but let us not forget Pam’s prowess in bare-knuckle brawling. She put him down, put it on him and left him in the elevator happy.


ANOTHER WHITE RUSSIAN, PLEASE! It seems the higher ups in Russia were tired of Nikolai Jakov and impressed with the way Bionic Barry dealt with their defector. Barry was named new KGB head and replaced Nikolai, telling him that he would reassign him to Siberia. Nikolai decides to pull a Katja and defects to the United States. For some reason he thought Malory would take him in, but last I recall they had a falling out. So Jakov gets stashed in the ISIS safehouse which is easily compromised due to Cheryl's stupidity. By the time ISIS shows up at the house, Nikolai is far from being safe.


BARRY’S REVENGE Bionic Barry is back and it looks like he aims to out-rampage his rival, Sterling. Both he and the sleeper agent he used to throw off ISIS are saying that he has some kind of master plan. Now this is Barry Dillon that we are talking about. He was second in command at ODIN until he took a mission from Malory to save Archer from the KGB. During said mission, he lost a leg and became Russian “property” after they rebuilt him. I am gonna guess he wants to thank both Malory and Sterling for this. Despite the fact that he indirectly killed Archer’s love Katja, I doubt that satisfied him. He told Jakov before he died that killing him had nothing to do with his master plan, so I am sure that Archer is in for a lot more pain and suffering.


So Jakov is dead, Bionic Barry is on a homicidal rampage and both Archers are feeling loss right now. I said it from last season, but there is going to be a reckoning between Archer and Dillon. Considering the strength and near invulnerability that Barry possesses, things don’t look too good for our protagonist. Will the power of liquor, dumb luck and rampage be enough to stop the power of bionics, seething hate and sheer madness? There are three episodes left in the season so anything can happen. Previews show that Katja is back next week as a cyborg. Does she still love Sterling? I think that will depend upon who built her. We have to remember that Kreiger is a mad scientist as well as the Russians that built Barry and Katja died on American soil. There are still many questions to be answered before the final curtain drops on season three; let’s hope Archer lives long enough to get some of them.

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