Usually when you can’t sleep you channel surf until you find something to help you fall asleep but with Netflix, Hulu, HBO Go and other services there are just too many choices. So a few nights back I was thumbing through Netflix and came across Dracula 3000. I remembered seeing Dracula 2000 which was passable but not terrible so I figured let me give this a shot and either it’ll help me fall asleep or be enjoyable. I was wrong on both accounts. When the biggest names are Casper Van Dien, Coolio,Udo Kier and Tommy Lister I should have taken that as a sign telling how terrible this would be.

 

Right

  • Erika Eleniak is always nice to look at.
  • Coolio’s dialogue after becoming a vampire. Here is a sample

187 (Coolio): Did I ever tell you how many times I'd see you and want to ejaculate all over your bazonkas… All the times I stayed up late, high as a kite, in the non-gravitational atmosphere, while I stroked my anaconda, and dreamed about your snow-white ass

While I am sure the quote would suffice the power of YouTube helps reinforce the awfulness of this film.

Wrong

  • Everything!

 

WTF

  • The guy you would think would save the day dies!

 

 

 

 

1 COMMENT

  1. Baseketball is bad but it has one or two mildly amusing moments. You can always watch the Parker/Stone classic Orgasmo lol -Rich

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